Understanding that our hearts are the source that either opens or closes the gates to others is not easy, but when one considers our feelings that one has towards something or someone. It is easier to understand, and deal with. This means, how we feel towards someone is due to what we are willing to accept or not, most of the time subconsciously. For example, a lot of women accept people in their lives that are not good for them, because they feel they do not qualify for anything better, so they settle with what their heart tells them they are worth. Looking at those feelings and seeing what one is holding onto, whether it be anger, hurt, rejection, unlovable or unforgivable among other feelings. These feelings hinder us from feeling like we deserve better, and furthermore these feelings keep us from feeling Gods unconditional love as well as forgiveness.
One simply cannot grow in love or accept love until those hindrances are dealt with and forgiven within yourself. However, one needs to understand what the hindrances are, and in order to accept them for what they are, one must deal with them by taking the time in prayer with God and allowing Him to heal you and your heart issues. This process is not easy, and personally it took me many years to understand that I even had issues. Let alone deal with them.
When taking it too God, let God open your past for you and look back through your life, go through all the relationships that you have been in. Starting with your parents, siblings, and other family members. Then go another step further looking at relationships such as friends, or other peers, teachers, bosses, boyfriends, husbands, children, to strangers, and even from yourself.
You can probably look back at these different moments in your life and remember different memories. They could be things they did or did not do. Another one would be things that were said or even left unsaid. You can even get them from losing someone you cared about. Facial expressions can leave lasting influences on us just as well as our own thoughts. Whether they built you up or tore you down, you have memories that have forever been engraved in your heart.
When it comes to feelings we can tend to bury them within ourselves, either through accepting it, dwelling on it, ignoring it, believing it to be true, and leaving it unforgiven within our hearts. We grabbed it up and claimed it either intentionally or unintentionally. Either way, we are the ones who are guilty of holding onto it. These feelings leach onto our hearts and leave us hurt or loved. They fester and create more issues by accepting other thoughts that the Devil puts into you. We can see them surface however, in how we deal with people and different situations. For example, when someone tells you that you are beautiful. What is the first thing that pops into your thoughts? These feelings are what is buried within the walls of your heart. These are what is hindering you from being completely all God created you to be in yourself, in your relationships, in your own surroundings, to as far as God could take you throughout the world. This is what blocks us from experiencing GODS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE!
I use to sell a skin care product that did regular classes. In one of those classes they taught us to do self-boosters on ourselves. The experiment went like this, hold out your arms like your standing to form the cross. Now tell yourself, “I am strong and beautiful”, 10 times in a row. Then another person would try and push down your arms with quite a force, but generally they could not push your arms down. Now do the opposite, tell yourself “I am weak and ugly” 10 times in a row. Once again someone would try to push down your arms with quite a force again. However, this time they succeeded. This experiment really showed that what we think or believe about ourselves really does define us both mentally and physically. You need to believe that God created you for a purpose, that when He designed you it was not to see you tore down but to see you loved unconditionally and flourishing within Him.
I think about it in another way as a mother, when my children bring me art work. Whether it be a bunch of scribbles or an art project from school, I look at it with my eyes beaming with joy. I’m telling them how much I love it, and what wonderful jobs they did. Why? Because I love them without flaw. There my world, my life, and I will do anything to make sure they know I love them and what they do. This is the same way God is with us. You are His art project, and He is beaming with joy and love for you, and it hurts Him when we allow lies to be what we focus on and believe of ourselves. God designed you, every part of you exactly how He knew would be best for you. He loves every part of you that He designed! “For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb” (Psalms 139:13, NKJV). This is powerful, this goes to show that God designed you, He put every part in you just how He saw fit for you. Who are we to say He is wrong? Are we all knowing? Absolutely not, we have no right to doubt or question what God did or still does for us. We simply have to trust and obey and let God Be God!
I was listening to someone tell me one time, that if I could not let what my ex-husband did to me go that I was only allowing him to keep on hurting me inside. I did not quite understand at the time, as I was so angry with myself and at him for allowing the situation get to the point of where it was. However, when I actually started feeling that my heart was hurting and needing healing, I prayed that God would bring my deepest hurts to the surface so that we could deal with them. I actually could not believe all that started surfacing over the next several months, and it was not all because of my ex-husband, but because of things that went clear back to my childhood times. It is amazing what we as children catch and keep, let alone carry on with us throughout our adult lives and even carry on into our marriages. God reminded me that when we cannot forgive, we will bring it into other relationships as well as into our own thinking of ourselves and in how we respond to others. So how do we let them go and forgive what has been done?
God’s tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (NKJV). This scripture is clear, if we cannot forgive someone else or even ourselves, how can God forgive us? That means that all that you hold in your heart will remain there until you release it. As you keep sinning it all starts just piling up and becoming a bigger issue within your heart. God says to give it to Him, He did this by Jesus’ mission for the cross! Jesus chose to die on the cross to take upon Himself our sins, every sin of the world. All we have to do is lay it at His feet. This one task that is asked of us, seems to be a difficult task to accept and do for a lot of people. We want to hold onto it, ponder it, and then we think we let it go, but we have not until we release it to Jesus, it just becomes another suitcase in our heart that we packed away. This is where it starts the damage as it keeps festering like a sliver. Eventually it pops up and has to be dealt with, we either let it become part of us, or we allow God to help us deal with it and take it out.
When the healing process starts, it is going to feel like you are a part of a roller coaster ride. You might question why, you might feel the hurt, you might even get angry about it, you might even feel joy of letting it go, and you could still cry more tears. However, you handle it, the feelings are going to challenge you, as well as help you. Through this process, you will wonder if you will make it, if you can release it. Just remember that even Peter questioned about forgiveness towards our brothers and sisters, and Jesus replied, “”Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times (Matthew 18:21-22, NKJV). Forgiveness is not an option if we want to be right with God. However, you have to trust and believe in God’s presence through this time, and within yourself. You have to know that YOU ARE WORTH IT! When God brings things to the surface, He is telling you that you are ready to deal with it. God does not give us anything unless we can deal with it, even when all looks bleak you have to trust that God is doing this to help you. Ephesians 4:32, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you” (NKJV).
Part of healing is accepting that you are worth it. Even God says that you are valuable, Matthew 10:31, God says you are more valuable then sparrows. God knows how many hairs are on your head at any given time, that is like sitting at the beach and counting the sand grains, it is impossible for us to count either of those. Not for God, He loves you that much. Even as a mother of three boys, I still could not tell you how many hairs are on any of them (Luke 12:7). You are also going to question why certain things happened to you or even to others. Let me tell you a story that happened many moons ago. You see God created the earth and all living things upon this earth. Everything He created was perfect! God said so Himself, after each day, He would look at it and say that it was very good. Everything was created just how God intended it (Genesis 1). However, along the way came the big bad wolf – Satan. You see God loved Satan, was very proud of him, but Satan was a jealous angel and wanted all the power and to be God, he wanted to be worshipped. Satan rallied a third of the angels to battle God (If you look up http://www.gotquestions.org/one-third-angels.html this site will explain the third of the angels for further understanding). God was not having it so He threw Satan and his crew out of Heaven. Satan was still angry and he was going to take revenge on God for doing that. Satan decides to destroy what God made very good and loved, Adam and Eve and all creation.
You see God gave everything He made to Adam because He wanted him to be surrounded with beauty and He did not want him lonely. He only commanded one thing – Do Not touch or eat of the tree of Knowledge of good and evil. Satan knew why so he used that to his advantage. You see when God created humans He created us in His image – to love, to be kind, gentle and to be joyful. To live in unbroken fellowship with God. He gave us all that and more. However, Satan tricked Eve and Adam, Satan’s characteristics then became apart of the human race as well. As you can see right away, Eve blamed the snake, Adam blamed Eve, they lied about why they “hid” from God, they felt ashamed and unloved, immediately!
At this point in time man’s free will took over and changed what God created as perfect to be imperfect and out of order. We as humans chose to put Gods perfect world to the side so we can do our own thing. When something bad happens just as Adam and Eve did, we blame someone and since God can stop all that is going on, that is who we decide to blame most of the time. When in reality we chose for our world to be corrupt. We chose for bad things to happen. I am not saying we ask for murders or rapes or child abuse or things along those lines to happen. However, all sin is still sin in Gods eyes, as they all separate us from God (Romans 6:23). Through our free will and sinful nature, we have chosen to tell God to stay away. Not all of us have said those exact words but all of us are guilty of doing sinful things against God. Which through this keeps us away from God.
We need to bring ourselves to another level, so that we can stop focusing on the blame came and come to God and look to Him for healing in our heart and in our soul. This is the beginning to learning to forgive, is by accepting we truly need help and that Jesus Christ came to earth as fully human, in order to die on the cross for you! Jesus Christ died for all sins it is up to us to accept the forgiveness (I talk further about this in The New Beginnings). But when God starts revealing those hurtful or prideful feelings, Do Not sweep under the rug. Releasing these feelings and dealing with them, will be well worth it. I remember here a while back, I had been praying that God would heal my heart because at the time I did not know why I would get so upset about little things that were brought up about things that had happened in my past, and for about a week straight, I kept waking up around 2 am. I was getting frustrated because I could not sleep, and I was taking it out on whoever the next day, I was frustrated and I could not put my finger on it. Finally, it dawned on me, and one night I woke up, and I said, God I am here, show me what You want me to know. At that point in my life, it had been approximately 15 years since my parents divorced and I had prayed and asked God to put them back together, so that both my parents I could have together, however, they both moved on and remarried, and when the last marriage happened, and me being a teenager. I became a force towards my parents like they were the enemy of my happy ever after. As years went my I grew up and thought it was all gone and it was just a part of my life history. Boy was I wrong, anytime one of my parents brought it up, my whole world became like this ball of fire that I was going to throw at someone, no matter if they played a role in it or not. God knew this, and knew I needed to deal with this as it was ruining my life to that very day. I got up and wrote letters asking my parents for forgiveness, because what I had done, even though that divorce was not my fault, I was evil towards whoever as a child and then to those around me as an adult when it was brought up, and in that I was wrong. I allowed something that had torn me a part as a child fester and grow with hate, anger, even trust became an issue for me. As a child, I walked away from God because I thought He let me down. He never fixed what I wanted, and I thought He answered prayers. But I never looked beyond that, until that night. God healed me, but it took time, I had to forgive myself, ask others to forgive me, I had to even ask God to forgive me for how I thought of Him. God never let me down, our worldly sin nature is what let me feel the pain I felt. God wanted perfect for me, but with the choices of my parents, that perfect world that I dreamed of, was not going to happen. I do not blame by parents, or God, and not even myself anymore, what was done is done, and through that, God has brought about great things. I have to look to God for that, because it was not perfect, but through all that, I still have parents, that never changed. I still have a God in my life even through all my fits of rage. He knew I was hurt, and stayed there with me even though I could not see that. I still have who I am, and who I am is where God has brought me through all the trials, and joys of life, God and my parents still love me for me. In that, I am very blessed. You see God knows we will face trials, but He also knows that if we trust Him, we can get through it, and good will come. We may not see it, but we are His artwork, His masterpieces who He loves and wants all things to be good for us. We just have to heal and accept!
Thanks for taking time out of your day, to join me today!