Marriages are intended to be a blessing from God. Just don’t think that marriages won’t come with struggles. I am not saying that fighting is something that could happen, because struggles do not have to create a fight!
I know for a fact that my parents have not once fought. However, I do know that they have faced struggles, but they have done it together. I am not saying they are perfect, even though I look up to them with high regard and respect! If you were to have a little while to just sit and watch them in how they are with each other, you wouldn’t question there love not only for each other but how powerful there love and fear of our father in heaven is in there lives and marriage. You can see without doubt how God is the leader in there home and how my parents live the roles God intended for there marriage.
I see I hear I learned that if I follow there example that my marriage may have falls or set backs, but my relationship will be 100% truly focused on Gods will for my life and we will be truly blessed, because I have followed what God asked of me to do and Christ and my parents showed me through there examples how much they were blessed by following God’s will! Christ Jesus was never married, but we are to be like Christ is with His Church, in our marriages 100%. When we take the time to read Gods word, the bible, or ask God how we are to be in our marriage He will guide us.
Now like I said there are struggles that marriages face, a few of the trials are popular ones we all face! Such as but definitely not limited by:
Leadership within the marriage
Lord knows we struggle with these, maybe not all of them but one or two. Either way we face some type of struggle. These struggles are lessons for us to truly lean on our Lord and Savior for guidance. One of the scriptures I have posted above my kitchen sink is, 1 Corinthians 12:8-10 NIV, “ Three times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”
You see if we didn’t face these struggles then we wouldn’t need Christ to save us, and God to forgive us, or roles that God intended for our marriages to follow for our protection. I know that this probably sounds strange but I like to curl up in bed when I am struggling and imagine laying in my Abba’s (fathers) lap! Because I know that I couldn’t and can not by any stretch of my imagination make like perfect and my problems all go away. I know I need God and I want Him to lead me! It would be a huge mistake on my part not allow God to lead! Just the same it is a huge mistake as a woman not to allow her husband to lead there marriage and home, or for a woman to try and take that leadership role. God didn’t create us that way! Men are not superior my any means, but they need to be the ones making the calls with God’s guidance in your marriage and home.
I am not taking this subject lightly, it is a huge reason why there are so many marriages that are being bombarded with today’s society- there input there idea’s and all around garbage and trying to make marriage into what God did not design. So as I stated through struggles in marriages, God gave us marriage because it is not good for men to be alone (Genesis 2:18). God created a spouse that is just right for you. To join together as one, you as a couple basically become glued together to become one! If we don’t work as one there are pitfalls everywhere. Such as leaderships in the marriage.
Who should be leader in your family? What is your opinion? Do you think that your husband, wife, or yourself should have that role?
Men, Husband! Take that leadership role! Women, Wives! Allow it! This is God’s Commandment, Ephesians 5: Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Colossians 3 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord,
I Peter 3 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
It is important to want to follow but your choice or wives choice to be submissive is to be freely chosen, it is her call. You can not force it, but pray and ask God to change it, so that she or you will be in Gods will! Allow her to be motivated by self-giving love.
Husbands this is what God says, “ you husband are head of your wife as Christ is head of His church! This does not mean that your wife is your doormat. She is not your slave by any shape or form of such. No this role as leader means many things but I’ll wrap it up into 8 things based off of Ephesians 5,
1. Be head of the wife v 23
2. Love your wife as Christ loves the church vs. 25
3. Love your wife as you love your own body. Vs. 28, 33
4. Nourish, bring up, care for, Protect. Vs. 29, 6:4, Rev. 12:6
5. Be like children- honest, straightforward, truthful vs. 29, 1 Th 2:7
6. Be joined as one flesh vs. 30-31
7. Leave parents for wife vs. 31
8. Cleave to wife. Vs. 31, Matt. 19:5
You sir need to remember your wife is more precious then gold or rubies and should be treated no less then the princess she is! You need to remember Christ died for her, he gave his life to save her so that she could live forever with him in heaven. She is a child of God so therefore she is a princess! Anything that is criminal and wrong is not Christ like, and she is under no obligation to follow your leadership. Her God and her soul must come first. Obedience is based upon you loving your wife as Christ loves his church.
Wives- God says, “Submit yourself to your husband, as unto the Lord.” Eph. 5:22. Your husband is your leader and you need to willingly follow him. I look at the Proverbs 31 woman and truly pray that I can be exactly that! These scriptures talk of a noble wives character. How amazing this woman is! She is more precious than rubies, her husband can trust her she greatly enriches her husbands life. She brings him good not harm all the days of her life. She is a seamstress, upholster, merchant, farmer, Chef. She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her family and prepares for the days activities. She is wise with her money, energetic, strong hard worker, she helps those less fortunate then her, makes sure her family is clothed for winter and summer. She is joyful, and when she speaks she is full of wisdom, she makes things to sell to help her families finances. Her children and husband stand and bless her and praise her.
Now please note not one thing in this scripture talks about outward beauty, but she is amazingly beautiful because of who she is and what she has done to care for her family! However, I know of many women who prepare themselves before there husbands enter the home. Some simply put lipstick on others they shower dress nice and prepare there hair and paint there face. And there husbands praise them for being amazingly beautiful in there spirit!
The woman described here and in the Bible is an amazing woman with no doubt a huge load on her hands! So I am not saying that you are responsible to do this all in a days work. I would find that impossible. This is more than a days work, to honestly think about. I would say to do the best that you can do. Use this proverbs 31 woman as a guided tour. She has shown you what we are called to be for our husband and children. Use this as “what can I do list” to improve who you are as a wife and mother.
There are choices to be made that can be brought up to your husband, but it is his call in the end. I am not saying you need to learn to sew or cook it wouldn’t hurt but it is up to you and your husband. Experiment, and you will learn. I can’t hardly sew, but if my families clothes need a patch I whip it out in the sewing machine. Cooking, well that is a passion of mine. So I prefer to cook from scratch. I am not a fan of boxed meals, because I feel that is not best for my family. But for others it works for them. What I am getting at is you are not called to be super woman but be wise with what you do!
Please take time to look at your marriage and decide how important it is to you to be in God’s will, and then pray and ask God to help you! Don’t take my words and change, but let them minister to your heart and let God do the changing to what He wants from you! Isn’t your marriage worth it to you? It is to God! I pray blessing for you and your spouse!